Motherhood and Marriage (Part 2)

“Why would she give up everything and mold her life to a man?” The words fell into the void, and we each of us exchanged quick glances.  “She needs to at least finish her masters before she gets married.  That way, she’ll have something to fall back on.” And just like that, her marriage was ended before it had even begun.

Women can be so hard on one another.

The reality is that marriage might be one of the most difficult adventures we undertake.  Yes, a woman, when she marries, will make sacrifices for her husband.  But he will sacrifice for her, too.  That is the nature of marriage.  The two become one and the marriage itself becomes a living thing which both husband and wife must nurture and grow into full maturity.  Discord arises only when we demand that the marriage meet our own self-serving desires, and it is most difficult to continually turn our hearts away from our own wants in order to meet the needs of our spouse, in order to nurture the marriage relationship.  And children are the inevitable fruit of marriage, tender and sweet, given by God to nurture and love within the protective embrace of the marital bond.

There is great value in doing your work inside your own home, in raising children and dusting bookshelves and cooking meals.  Should you choose home education, as well, you’ll join an elite group of women who take sacrificial love to the next level.  But there will be no one to tell you that you’re doing a good job.  You will have to live for years entirely on faith.

Faith.

In the end, it all comes down to faith.  Faith in the God who says we can move mountains.  Faith in the constancy of the sheltering love of our husbands.  Faith that our children, under our diligent and watchful eyes, will become loving, generous, faithful adults themselves.

Don’t worry.

What you are doing is of inestimable value to the world.

Even if I’m the only one who ever tells you so.

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3 thoughts on “Motherhood and Marriage (Part 2)

  1. Anne

    This followed by listening to a talk by Sarah from Amongst Lovely Things entitled “Whose well done are you working for?” and I think I’m sufficiently encouraged for today.

    Sometimes I really like the internet, and the way amazing individuals who would never otherwise get a chance to tell their story, beyond their own walls and their own children heading out into the world to carry that story in one way or another, now have a chance to tell that story.

    Thanks for taking the time to share some of your story via your blog.

    Reply
  2. Barbara

    Thank you! I have no support in my “real” world. My husband supports us financially, and he supports me, to some degree, but no one I know stays home with their children, or even less common, stays home after the children are gone. We’re a rare species, and it’s hard to stay joyful when schooling is like pulling teeth, the kids gripe about dinner, the laundry is endless, and no one says thank you for cooking and cleaning and schooling. It’s just good to know there is at least one other person who sees how hard it is and recognizes what the root of our work is — Love.

    Love this quote: “Discord arises only when we demand that the marriage meet our own self-serving desires” Ain’t that the truth? And our world is filled with people who refuse to lay aside their own self-serving desires to make marriage and family a priority. It seems half our world won’t even put down their cell phones to do it.

    Reply
  3. CMerie

    Love this Jenni! These two posts have really hit home with me. Knowing you through your blog has been such an example for me, especially in those times when I’ve had no one else. I don’t comment often, bit I read every post and these two will go down as my very favorite.

    Reply

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